Wedding Vows
by from russia with love47
Summary: Often, I wondered what it would be like to die. To feel the life being drained from my body. Being a cop, I always assumed that it would be a bullet that finished me, but time after time, being trapped in a freezer, chased by tigers, and nearly drowning, I wasn't so sure anymore. I can never guess how it'll happen, but I do know that when it does, he'll always be right beside me


Often, I wondered what it would be like to die. To feel the life being drained from my body. Being a cop, I always assumed that it would be a bullet that finished me, but time after time, being trapped in a freezer, chased by tigers, and nearly drowning, I wasn't so sure anymore. I can never guess how it'll happen, but I do know that when it does, he'll always be right beside me. So, getting today, this one gloriously happy day, filled with light and love, seemed almost too perfect.

And it was, too perfect. The sun filtering through the trees in the golden September air, I clutched my father's arm tightly, not out of anxiety, but to fill the small hole of emptiness that resided in my chest. That my mother wouldn't be able to see the happiness in my eyes as I slowly strolled towards him. That she would never be able to love him as her son, as I love him as my soon-to-be husband.

I reached his side, and he reached for my hand, squeezing gently. I squeezed back, and gave him a reassuring smile. As he recited his vows, I felt a tear track down my face, and I reached up to wipe it away, but he got there before I did. Using our entwined fingers to brush it away, he kissed my hand. I cleared the thickness in my throat away, and began.

"I promised myself I wasn't going to cry, and here I am, crying." The small gathering in the white wooden seats let out a low rumble of laughter. "If you'd asked me 5 years ago where I thought I'd be by now, I would've answered; the precinct, or something like that, certainly not," I gestured around me with my free hand, and looked down, smiling. "this. But one, maybe two years ago I would've said, with you," I held his gaze, and now it was his turn for his sparkling blue eyes to glisten with unshed tears.

"I knew, the second you stopped being such a jackass, I knew, that I would go absolutely wherever you were. Because I have never felt so safe, or loved, and I have no intention of ever letting go of your hand, so you should get used to this," I lifted our joined hands in the air, "because I have a gun, and you don't really have a choice." Laughter joined the sweet music of the autumn wind, and I gazed up, back into his soft blue eyes.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." He murmured softly, rubbing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

"As I stand here today, it is with peace of mind, and love in my heart. So, Richard Edgar Alexander Rodgers Castle, I'll shut up now, because between you and I, I'm kinda looking forward to spending the rest of my life as Mrs. Castle."

We exchanged rings, he said, I do, and then I saw it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash. The world around me slowed, twisting and spinning in an intricate dance of desperation as I dove. It was with joy that I received the bullet, buried deep inside my chest, considering he was spared. As he cradled my head in his lap, I was pulled back into a graveyard, luscious green grass, the scent of pine and the dawn of summer in the air, surrounding mourners painted with black. Today, the opposite. Smiles, not tears, graced us today, but as I drift into perpetual darkness, I hear sirens, and screaming, someone crying.

My head and my heart pound with adrenaline, desperately clinging to light. I don't want to go like last time, I don't want to leave without delivering my final piece of devotion, no more words left unsaid.

"Rick," The words scrape roughly up my throat.

"I'm here, you're alright, you're fine, I'm here." His tears drip down onto my face.

"I do." I whisper. My eyes remain open, albeit unfocused, but he's right next to me, as he promised he would be. Always. And maybe that's why I'm not so afraid.


End file.
